In this essay, I will discuss an interesting phenomenon - the issue of male Turkish love rats.

A love rat is somebody who cheats someone of love and money. Actually such 'love rats' can be found all over the world in every single country. But why is it that Turkey - and to a certain extent, men from countries in the Middle East as well as South Asia - are especially well-known for this 'crime'?

And why is it that we seldom heard of male love rats from countries like the US, UK, Canada, Europe etc.?

My argument is that love rats are a by-product of societies in which income disparity prevails and where the majority of the people are prevented by immigration legislation to seek better-paid jobs in foreign countries.

1. The issue of poverty, unemployment and lack of opportunity
Many people who visit Turkey actually have very little idea about the socio-economic conditions of the country. Most people only spend a few weeks in Turkey and the places they visit are either big cities  with plenty of tourist attractions, such as Istanbul or Antalya; one of the tourist places in Central and Eastern Anatolia, or on the country's western and south-western coast.
Most of the European tourists who visit Turkey - pardon me if I say this - are from the working-class background or the lower-middle class background in their home countries. They visit Turkey on an all-inclusive package holiday, do not travel to different cities of Turkey during their visit, and spend most of their time staying within the confines of their holiday hotel or resorts. Many of them do not speak Turkish and do not bother to venture outside of the resort town at which they spend their holidays.
This means: the only Turkish they will ever come to meet are those who speak foreign languages and who work in the tourism industry, namely: hotel staffs, carpet shop/jewellery shop owners, travel agents, waiters, restaurant owners, etc. It is highly unlikely that they will ever meet any ordinary Turkish folk who is not working in any of the above professions, because ordinary Turkish people, who have not lived abroad before, do not usually have a good command of English or other major foreign languages. The presence of language barrier among ordinary Turks and most foreign visitors, coupled with the lack of opportunity for tourists to get to know locals who work outside the tourism business, explains in part the reason why most love rats stem from those who work in the tourism sector). The problem with striking out a friendship with Turkish tourism-sector employees is, there might be conflict of interest involved. Whether they are owners of hotel, bar, restaurant, pension, or travel agency, their ultimate aim is to make money and do business. This brings about a sensitive question: are these people being friendly to foreign tourists (especially women) because they are really fond of them, or because they want to make business with them and consider forging a friendship nothing more than a 'mean to the end'?
It is not unusual that Turkish men use their 'charm' to endear themselves to female foreign tourists, who will willingly contribute money or other material benefits to her beloved. In some seaside resort towns frequented by Europeans, it is common place for a Turk to have a dozen or so foreign girlfriends from different countries, who will bring him gifts and sponsor his business with personal financial means. Also it is widespread practice for Turks who have foreign girlfriends and who work in tourism-related branches to ask their girlfriends to 'recommend' their guest houses or bars or restaurants to their friends from abroad.

Such misplaced behaviours derive in part from the socio-economic circumstances of Turkey: average wage for normal workers is about 500 YTL a month. Even government employees and civil servants don't fare better - a teacher or ordinary police officer earns about 700- 800 YTL a month. But prices of food, water and electricity in Turkey are very expensive (especially in relation to the average wages of the country's population) and inflation is rampant. Since most of the women in Turkey still stay at home and do not enter any wage employment, it means men are responsible for the entire household's upkeep.
Many semi-skilled or unskilled jobs in Turkey are not just badly paid - they also do not include any form of social insurance or unemployment benefits contributions. This means it is not easy for a Turk with a wife and children to care for to provide for the whole family with his 700 YTL a month salary, unless he has some other sources of income.
While some people are lucky because they have already inherited a house or piece of land from their parents and thus do not have to pay for their housing, those who did not have any inheritance will need to look to other sources for additional incomes.

Many Turks choose to enter tourism business because they are paid on commission: the more business they attract to the hotels, bars, shops or restaurants they work for, the more they will be paid at the end of the season. In a good year, they can earn more than 8,000 euro in a season, almost three times the ordinary wages of normal workers. In order to make big bucks, many Turkish men use their sweet talks to attract female customers and persuade them to purchase things or consume at their premises. Although most of the foreign tourists who visit Turkey are not very well-off in their home countries, they still have a far superior purchasing power when compared to ordinary Turkish wage-earners. The availability of financial rewards, gifts, even a visa to live and work in the UK or Europe, prove too much a temptation for many Turkish men, who thought the fastest way to get rich is to find one or more foreign girlfriends and live off them.

2. Cultural differences
Now, bear in mind that despite Turkey being a secular country, it is still not very common place for Turkish females to travel to far away foreign countries such as the US or Australia without male company. Thus here comes the cultural misunderstanding: many Turks assume that single female travellers are in Turkey because they want adventure with Turkish men. Many Turks have never been to any foreign country in their whole life because it is extremely difficult for ordinary Turks to get a visa to the US, UK or the European Union, and almost 99% of their knowledge of western/European lifestyle derives from Hollywood films. Thus there is a widespread misconception among Turkish males that all western women have casual sex with male strangers 3 minutes after they met.

In addition, western tourists are being more open in terms of their demeanour - they talk loud, laugh loud, drink in the public, hug and kiss on the street and wear very short or skimpy dress when going out. All these behaviours send a wrong message to some of the men, who thought such behaviour are signs that sexual advances from men are 'welcomed'.
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For female tourists who decide to visit Turkey on their way, unless you are there to look for adventure with men, stick to the following rules and you should be safe:
1. Wear shirts or tops that cover your shoulders and back and part of the upper arm - women who wear tank-tops or stripless tops are considered by men as 'inviting' conversation and approach from strangers.
2. Wear skirts longer than the kneecaps, or loose trousers. Short skirts are thought to be worn by prostitutes only.
3. Do not smile at strangers or male passerbys. Keep away from eye contact. Any smile or unnecessary eye contact or over-friendly remarks will be interpreted as gesture of inviting sexual advances. In other words, do not smile or look at strangers in their eyes, and behave aloof like you are Her Royal Highness or the Queen of England.
4. Do not respond if male strangers call out to you while walking on the street. Ignore them and walk on.
5. Do not accept invitation by any male stranger to dine out or to go to night clubs unless you also want to and you know what you are doing.
6. Do not believe any word a Turkish man says unless you know him really really well. If someone says to you you are the love of his life after 3 hours, forget about it. The fatal mistake committed by most foreign female tourists - especially those from the UK, US and Asia - is that they have a soft spot for romantic sweet talks. And those with ulterior motives exploit this weakness to the full. If any Turkish hunk who looks half-decent talks to them using flowery languages and sweet compliments, these girls' head will spin immediately and they will do everything for him. The problem is, most Turkish men talk sweet words because it costs them nothing, but will get them enormous material benefits if some silly girls fall for that. BE CAREFUL.

After all, if some strange men from your home country tell you he loves you with all his heart after just 3 hours, you will think he is nuts, won't you? So why should you believe someone's nonsense just because you are on holiday in an exotic country and he is Turkish (or any foreign nationality) and looks half decent?

Many foreign female visitors seem to suffer from 'Romantic Holiday Syndrome' as soon as they are off the plane. They are away from the boring routine, they are on holiday, everything is new and fun and exciting and they are more prone to try out 'romantic' and daring things they would otherwise not have done at home.  BUT one should bear in mind that true holiday romance doesn't happen to everybody, and think about it: it is impossible to get to know a person really well after just 1 or 2 weeks together or by email or by MSN or whatever.
Also, most of these love rats have no proper jobs, no decent education, no good salary, no nothing. Many of them are already married or divorced several times with 3 or 4 children to feed and he is forever asking you for money. It is not uncommon for young Turks to marry much older European women so that she can get him a visa to live in France or England. As said, the majority of tourists who visit Turkey do not see the huge income differential and the pressure upon ordinary Turks to make their ends meet. They are on holidays, they feel relaxed and everything is sweet and romantic. Thus the bitter disillusion when they found out they have been cheated by their lovers and they place more importance on material benefits than mutual affections.


Of course there are many nice Turkish people with decent personality, but unfortunately it is not easy for anyone who speaks no Turkish or who spends only 2 weeks' time in the country to meet them.

Potential financial benefits as a motivation for 'love' also explains in part the question why the occurence of love rats among west European or American men are less frequent: these men do not need to find one or more women who can afford to keep them - instead they will probably get conned by female love rats from some under-developed or developing countries who are looking for a rich sugar-daddy. (No offence to anyone, just personal comments - I apologise if I offend anybody's feelings...)
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Some of the most common types of love rats:
A) Those looking for material benefits by going out with older women from developed countries
    A few years ago, this used to be the most popular type of love rats, but now it seems some have begun to target girls as young as 15 or 16.
     They will ask their girlfriends for money, gifts, financial sponsorship, even quick marriage in order to get a visa to foreign countries.

B) Those who are not looking for money but just for sexual gratitude:
    Some of the love rats have multiple foreign girlfriends not because of financial incentives, but because of free sexual gratification. Because it is still not common for Turkish unmarried couples to have pre-maritial sex, it is not uncommon for young Turkish men working in tourism industry to find foreign girlfriends for this purpose. These guys do not have any intention of 'getting serious' or marrying the foreign girls and simply treat them as free treats.

C) Those who do want to get married but are looking for the best deal from amongst multiple partners
    As said, this particular type of love rats do want to get married but he wants to find the 'best qualified' one before committing himself. Don't be surprised if he has several GFs at the same time.

D) Those who already has a Turkish wife at home but who choose to 'marry' a foreign woman/several foreign women at the same time as his 'secondary wife' (whether known or unknown to the woman/women in question) with the full consent of his Turkish wife
    This seems a weird phenomenon and is against Turkish civil law, but many men from villages in Eastern Anatolia do commit bigamy or polygamy. What happened is: they will conduct religious or civil marriage ceremony (or both) in their home villages with their Turkish wife, but did not register the marriage at government marriage office. After the marriage, the man will go abroad to live with his foreign financee and live there, obtain legal residence in foreign countries and send the money home to his family in the village. In the meantime, his Turkish wife will stay at home and look after his children and family. It seems some of the foreign 'second wives' in question actually know about the existence of the first wife but did not object to sharing the husband.
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